oh holy jesus!

i am officially two days away from being whisked away to the tiny island of Ireland.  i've been putting together a small pile of clothes i will need (warm, warm, warm is the key!), lists and printouts of where i'm staying, addresses, how i paid/if i paid, and all that info, and most importantly, i've cleaned my apartment.  and i'm not talking about just putting clothes away or re-shelving books.  i was on my hands and knees, scrub brush in my gloved hands, cleaning the floors in my kitchen.  i want to come back to a sparkling apartment with nothing on my mind to do.  it looks nice.  it's not perfect, but then again it's the size of most homeowner's closets, so i'm not too concerned.

it's weird i only have two nights here.  after tonight of course.  it's weird i'm going to be in another country.  i still have so much to do.  pay bills.  change money to euros.  really pack.  more reservations and printouts ahead.

thanksgiving rocked.  i ran 9.5 miles on two hours of sleep (yeah, i'm a stud), ate a lot of appetizers while drinking sparkling wine, took a nap, and woke up to eat thanksgiving dinner.  drank more wine.  slept hard that night only to meet with my precious grandparents in temple, texas the next day.

and yes, i am 'exclusively dating' a boy.  it's kinda cool.  he's been out of town since thursday, but i have yet to get anxious about not seeing him.  of course, i want to see him before i leave to the big green island, but it feels different.  i haven't had this much fun in a long time.  my mom said at thanksgiving i look better than i have in a long time.  and i can't say it's all because of him, but i feel more different in this than ever.  and i may get hurt.  but at least i had these moments.  

and i'm going to Ireland.  life is really rockin' right now.  

oh, starbucks is part of the Product (RED) campaign, which i have always supported, kinda. (ok, here is my deal.  i LOVE LOVE LOVE that this promotes awareness of the huge global AIDS epidemic, particularly in Africa, but i HATE HATE HATE how it is with products that use child/women slave labor: ie. Converse, Armani, Gap, possibly Apple (it's a huge legal situation), and, of course, Starbucks.  i hate how they want to promote the health rights of some people, but ignore the human rights of those who MAKE the product!) 

but i've worn the apron with pride as i think it gets the ball rolling for conversation.  i will still continue my crusade for starbucks to become fully fair trade and organic.  you'll see.  i can do it.

9 days...kinda like the band, only not crappy.

in nine days i am out.  which becomes more and more exciting with each passing day.  i have decided that i will be staying at The Clarence Hotel my last night in Dublin, as a gift to myself.  it is the hotel owned by Bono and the Edge, and it is the nicest in all of Dublin.  it overlooks the Liffey and is in the heart of the Temple Bar District.  Bathrobes, fancy room service, soft beds and linens, and, the best part, with my package deal, i tell them my approximate arrival time, and when i check in, they have a 'Clarence Cosmo' martini waiting for me.  ahhhh, luxury!  don't worry, i've already looked at the desert menu for room service, but i doubt i'll be in the room that long.

so...you know how as soon as you say something, and you create a whole meal of an idea intended to serve someone else because you would never eat it yourself, then suddenly you find eating this food of words like a starvation victim?  yeah...i did that.  i think i'm dating someone.   it's casual.  thank god.  he's kickass.  thank god.  we'll see.  just thought i'd put it out there since it could be something real.  could be.  we'll see.  i've got a lot of life before those questions come up.

tomorrow is my busy day of trying to get everything together before i leave.  phone calls.  rain boots.  cell phones.  outlets.  hotels.  buses.  planning.  so much so much!  but all is good.  i have a feeling this trip will change me for the better.  my old friend Olly from London contacted me on Facebook to possibly get together while I'm in London, so we'll see!  Alison Owen is best friends with Gwyneth Paltrow, so maybe i might meet her.  maybe/maybe not.  this trip will still rock regardless!

my marathon training has gone to crap.  i barely ran last week between all the doings of the week.  so this week i have to catch up and keep going.  ugh.  i love running but still.  somedays it feels like a chore.  like when a cold front comes in and you are in bed and it's so warm in bed and you know you will be both sweaty and freezing your ass off outside, and you'll come back being so tired yet really relaxed.  but that feeling: your heart pumping, your legs moving, your breath pushing, your body in full motion.  there is nothing like it.  i love running.  i really do.  i really hope my knees or hips don't ever go out.

i hope to keep this blog as a post for what's going on in Ireland the the UK.  i want to somehow upload videos of what's going on to keep people interested or feel like they are there (namely my mom)  a little more than a week and i will be gone.  rock it!

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a heart that hurts is a heart that beats

i only title that because i was listening to U2 while closing tonight, which always gets me a little down since i'm alone in the dark (like a coffee scented cave) and i was deep in my thoughts swirling in my cloudy head, and Bono crooned that line.  it hit me right when i felt it.  ugh, then i got weird and emotional and needed a 4 mile run to make me feel better.  it worked.  thanks, Bono.  maybe i'll tell him in person if/when i see him...

on that note, this trip has become more detailed than i ever foresaw...ssssshocking, i know.  i feel it's kinda like getting married:  in theory, it sounds awesome and fun and easy and great!  just throw some invitations together, get yourself a pretty white(ish) dress and your love will solve the rest.  then before you know it you are going to cake tastings that specifically match your color scheme, making lists of who is and isn't invited, helping bridesmaids find their dresses, trying to figure out the best hotel for grandma and grandpa to stay in, timing the ceremony, trying to lose weight, what food and/or booze, blah blah blah blah...or so i hear.  wait, where was i?

right!  ireland.  so in theory it's fun and easy, then you book flights, hotels, set dates, figure out bus schedules, what you want to do and how to get there, best deals within a budget, packing the most efficiently, trying to contact B&Bs, how to protect myself, and then you find yourself rubbing your chest for comfort in the travel section of BookPeople because you never would have remembered to call a credit card company to tell them you will be in Ireland and England, find the right outlet converters, or even thought to remember numbers for the RAPE HOTLINE in Dublin...but i over-exaggerate.

but it covers up overall excitement.  this is something i have been dreaming about for years and years and years, and here it is.  three weeks to the day.  fuck.  i remember staring at the bright, smiling moon when i was younger thinking it was the same moon that splashed its light in Ireland.  i used to listen to irish morning radio when i would study late at night (it's a six hour difference).  i have written numerous, numerous papers on Ireland and its media.  i wrote about Ireland in Hebrew!  my prof would ask my questions about Ireland in class and i would answer in Hebrew.  i know more about Ireland than most of my friends.  it is the one thing i cared about for a long time.  it changed my life in a single answer:

if you had all the money you wanted, what would you do: I would go to Ireland...shit.  i was supposed to say Harvard Divinity School.  or Yale Divinity School.  fuck.  i don't want to go to divinity school.  i want to go to Ireland.

so many years later, and an extra major and minor dropped, here i am.  going to my motherland.  i think one reason why i can't get that excited is that i have no idea what to expect.  i don't know what it really, realistically looks like.  i've seen pictures, but i've never walked the streets.  i've listened to the music, but never in the warmth of a real Irish pub.  i've met Irish men, but never alone in their home country.  oy vey!

and this London stuff is tripping me out, too.  i can't believe i am going there!  i booked the flight and the hotel, and i am set.  i watched the beginning of Love Actually, and cried thinking, i'm gonna be there when it looks like this!!!  so, yeah, good times.

three weeks.  three.  weeks.  this is so much better than dating!!

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!!

lordy mama, things have changed, or at least gotten more exciting.

first of all i voted.  it was awesome.  tuesday can't come quick enough!

second, i'm going to ireland!!  I did it!  after hours of thinking and considering and pondering and budgeting and really really praying, i decided this trip is something i need.  after feeling like my heart has been through the shredder both with people and work, i need something to center myself; i need to find myself again.  and ireland has always been there for me, with u2 and irish dance, and music and culture.  i just can't wait.  i leave december 3rd, get in dublin december 4th, and leave december 16th.  half of december i will be in ireland.  well, until some plans today...

there is a film crew that has been staying in our hotel since september or so, and they are filming the new clare danes film.  and as a result, i've gotten to know a lot of the crew.  one woman in particular, a producer, who comes in and orders a dopio with her diet shake.  she is a cute blonde woman, and after many conversations, i nervously asked her if i could ask her questions about how to make it in the film world.  she said yes, and sure enough today we met and talked for a few minutes.

but here are her facts:

• she is an oscar nominated producer for Elizabeth.  Yeah, THE elizabeth.
• her daughter is Lily Allen.  Yeah, THE Lily Allen.
• she has worked in both Ireland and London in the music industry.  *cough cough*

so!  i casually asked her how someone like me gets into this business, particularly in editing, and she says that her company is always looking for interns, and they have many American interns, and she could do what she can to make that happen for me.  she told me to come to London when i go to Ireland, and she'll introduce me to THE movers and shakers of the music and film world of England.  She also knows many people in Irish film, and will give me their contact info so i can meet up with them.  she's gonna help me out!

so it looks like this trip will end up being more than Ireland.  I'M GOING TO LONDON, TOO!!!!  and not as a tourist!  as a prospective editor for British film!  or working in British music!  i am so scared and so excited at the same time.  this is the biggest leap of faith i've ever made, but i pray that if the door doesn't open, it isn't meant to, and if it does, then i shall enter.

part of me also hopes to get invited to the wrap-up party sometime later this month.  sa-weet.