future world traveller here.

the day has come.  i am gone.  i leave for the airport in two point five hours and it is getting harder to hide my excitement.  my apartment is sparkling, i had a great goodbye at work yesterday and this morning, i said goodbye to my luvah, my family is taking me to the airport...man, life is good.

my mom told me that she is so proud of me, as this is the most courageous thing i've ever done, or she would ever do in her life.  she then repeated over and over again, "you'll be fine.  you'll BE fine.  you'll be FINE.  i'll be fine.  i'll be FINE!"  to which i laughed.  the prospect of going overseas alone is kind of a daunting one that i have yet to really grasp.  i'll wing it.

i have never felt this happy.  and by happy, i mean balanced.  i feel like a peace has nestled in me, and i am ready just to enjoy life and its precious moments.  i wonder what i will find in Dublin.  i wonder what the streets of Cork will tell me.  i wonder what residue the fog in London will leave on my heart.  to go from life being an absolute mess and feeling like a failure in most aspects of my life to this...this....i don't even know how to describe my condition.

i think most buddhists would call it Nirvana.  i know it won't last forever, but for this moment, it did.  and for this moment, my soundtrack is "I believe in Father Christmas" by U2.  of course.  i'm coming home, boys!