rock it!

in a kind of debbie-downer fashion, i had a dream about one of my exes last night.  the one that made a tornado of my personal life, leaving a path of destruction that he failed to try and pick up.  asshole.

i cried it out a long time ago, worked through it, dated since then, but there is a little bity band-aid that still holds together a bruised, broken spirit that is tied to my wrist like a old, wilted balloon.  it's small, but it's still there.  it's hard to get over being cheated on.  or have trust broken.  or to be rejected.  it's just there.  no matter what.  ugh.  shitty shitty relationships.  then after being dropped twice in a row after i gave up.  best decision i've ever made.

i had lunch with a dear dear friend of mine, Jared, and he talked about the break ups and break downs of the past 6 months, and we were kinda in a similar place.  or at least somewhere where i have been and worked through.  we listened to break up songs (he is gay, so of course alanis morrisette was there, so was sarah mclaughlin.  and tori amos.  oh the gays!)  and i let him talk it out.  he is broken.  we are all broken.

when i was going through the bereavement of myself i wrote a journal entry that describes human beings as these rag dolls holding thread and a needle endless searching and pawing at someone to help sew them up.  and i feel it is even more true and more people you get to know.  

we all have our stories, which is why i absolutely love autobiographies on anyone.  anyone.  i think true, lived out stories are far more interesting than any story the human brain can fabricate.  i guess my point is that no matter what we all carry baggage around.  even if it's just a coin purse.  we are all hurt.

now let's all celebrate our losses and drink 'ritas and eat nachos!!